Happy Fathers Day Papa!

Today the whole world is celebrating father's day. I am so happy that I still have a father, a loving father who, despite of his situation in life, has always been there for me to support me in everything I do. I do have a lot of fond memories of my Papa (as I call him). I was such a papa's girl when I was young and my mom would usually gets jealous because I always take papa's side whenever they quarrel. I can still remember those times when I was still a kid, papa would buy me almost all the things I ask for. I am Papa's only child at that time (mama already had 3 from her previous marriage) so you could just imagine how Papa values me so much. My brothers and sisters would usually call me a spoiled brat because Papa would normally buy me expensive toys and would buy me whatever food I want. Usually, in the middle of the night...I would wake him up and ask him to buy me balut or lugaw downstairs (we lived in the third floor) and though he is still sleepy, he would always give in to my request. That's how spoiled I am with my Papa. I can still remember how he would normally pack and deliver my lunch to my school when I was still in High School... how he surprised me with a typewriter because he noticed that I envy my classmates who does'nt have to rent a typist for their project. I can still recall how my father utter words such as "sana ako na lang ang magkasakit, wag na lang ikaw..." whenever I feel sick due to fever. I really feel that I am Papa's greatest possession. I hope I can still bring back the time and go back to that moment when the world seems so safe because I have my Papa to protect me.

Everything changes, so is my relationship with Papa. Our relationship has been ruined because he does'nt like my first boyfriend. I became a black sheep and would reject Papa's advices regarding love and relationships because I feel that I need to follow what my heart desires. That broke Papa's heart and since then...we fell apart. Papa also resigned from his job as a cook in UERM Hospital and is just getting small amount of money by getting cooked food in a nearby laundry shop. Everything seems to go from bad to worse until its time to leave him with my brother as I with mama left for Montalban. In as much as I want Papa to go with us...mama does'nt want to be with him anymore. I was left with no choice. I hate my brother and I can't live with him on the same house anymore so I decided its time to leave but I never thought I would be leaving Papa as well...

Papa's life has been hard with my brother, my kuya would not share the food my mother would give for both of them. He said he would normally just walk for hours just to pass time as he does'nt want to stay at the house since he and kuya is not in good terms. He is always hungry and since he does'nt have a stable source of income...would just settle for bread. I would just normally bring him groceries and food once in a while but I don't have the courage to get him out of that house as my salary is not enough. I left papa alone at the lowest point of his life because I have been busy with my own life...I have left that one person who does'nt have anything in mind but my own good...

The time came in which papa confessed that he had another son. He is an 8 year old kid with another woman but told me that he never supported them nor gave anything for his kid for 8 long years. He told me that this would be the best time to show his son that he exists so he decided to live with them. At first, I can't believe my ears and got jealous and betrayed...but as I come to think about it... Papa would be happy having a family again. I want Papa to feel he is loved again and taken cared of. He needs someone to take care of him especially he is not getting any younger. I was able to meet my half brother and because I want to help them I let them manage my business - a convenient store and gave them all the things that came along with it. It's my way of saying sorry for those times I was not there when he needed me most. Until now, I still feel guilty. How can I do that to my father. How can I ignore him at that point in which he has nobody to hold on to but me.

Now that I already have my own family, I am still helping them in any way I can. I always set aside a portion of my salary so I could help my Papa and my brother. I know Papa is now happy with his newfound family. I hope Papa could experience a happy and convenient life that he let me experience when I was still young...

To you my Papa, my loving father...I love you so much. You have been there since day one and you never left my side. You always support me in everything I do and know the innermost feelings I have. Thank you for always understanding me and for just being there. I pray God would give you long life full of love and happiness... I love you Papa!