Back For Good

Wow, it's been almost a month since I last posted something here on my blog. It's been a crazy month for me, but good thing...I was able to finally move on. No blog entries means no moolah whcih means no savings which will be necessary for my upcoming retirement. I can't wait to finish my 5 years in the office so I could finally do whatever I want to do in my life. Actually, things are getting better in the office but I just can't bear working 5 days a week, I feel that it's too much. I guess once I retire from this job, I would try being a freelance product writer. I would try different industry and perhaps try my luck abroad. I would really love to leave it all and start anew. My life has always been a never ending square one but I am happy that there is always a chance for me to start over again. I promise myself that I would update my blogs at least once a day so I could get more product reviews but I would like to spare this site from sponsored posts. I am thinking of changing the subject of this blog but I am still in the process of deciding. There are a lot of things running through my mind and I am so excited to see those ideas materialize. Goodluck to me!

May God Direct My Path

In August, everything will change. I will then tie a knot with the best man I've ever known. We'll finally start a family and hopefully live happily ever after. I am excited and at the same time worried, I know it would be different. I would now be a wife and would need to be under her husband's authority. I would also soon would be a mother and till now, I'm not so sure if I am worthy to be a mom and if I could live up to be one. I believe this is the right thing to do and I really hope I can cope up to be a loving, caring wife and mother to my soon to be family.

Phew, enough of those drama. I still have three months to make decide but for now, I would like to tell you something about an immediate plan of ours. We would finally get a house of our own. I guess you already know that after one and a half years...I would be resigning from my current job and would start working as a full time blogger and in relation to that plan, we would be getting our new home. My mom would accompany us next month to a newly build subdivision near her house and based from what I see through online forumns and websites, I can tell that it's a good community. Have already made plans on what to do to the house. I would like to have it painted pink, white and brown just like the current paint color of our current house. I would have it decorated with led rope light. Those led rope lights can illuminate dark corners of the house and could set a dreamy or romantic mood. Oh I can now imagine how good the house would look with those led rope lightning!

I pray God would approve to this plan and I believe He will direct my path -I hope I can bless Him with my life...

Excited for the Future

I admit, I sometimes worry so much. I want to make sure that after I resign from my current work, everything would be okey. I intend to resign after two years and work full time on my online job. I also intend to put up a small business to keep me busy or get a part time call center or teaching job so I can socialize with different people. I don't want to set aside my social life and I know I need to mingle with people as well to keep me sane. I sometimes feel I can't wait any longer and is thinking of resigning right away - but I know I need to focus on what was originally planned. I know that my officemates does have their own plans for their lives and that we do have different priorities - maybe that's the exact same reason why it seems so easy for them to hop from one company to another. Most of my peers are now demotivated and is planning of switching companies and I admit, somehow, I feel the same. But God is so good that He is helping me get back on the right track and He is helping me get back my focus to what I know is beneficial to me. All of these are temporary, if I give up now because of the pressures at work and work on a different company... I know that sooner or later, I would feel the same way on the next company I'll be working at. It would just be a vicious cycle - I've learned that to be able to successfully win your goal... you should be able to adapt to changes. Change is constant...especially in a work environment. Lord help me to focus ONLY on my goal. Amen.

Why I Was Spared Of Ondoy's Rage

Right after our shift last Friday (that would be Saturday morning), the heavy rain fell - right after I was safe at the comfort of our home...right after I comfortably wore my usual "pambahay"...right after I have eaten my hearty lunch - the rage of Ondoy was felt all over Manila...

I don't know what I did to deserve being spared by this plague. I am not an ideal Christian, I rarely go to Church - I guess I've been to Church service only once for the past five years and that was when my brother got married. I was ordained by our Pastor to reach out to people so God's word would be known to them but instead - I was sitting comfortably in front of the television watching some feel good movie during Sundays. I lie, cheat, steal unconsciously...doing things a non Christian does...having in mind that those are just "little evil things" that almost everyone commits everyday. I don't deserve being spared and yet I still have a roof over my head, food at the table and dry clothes to warm my body while others suffer with grief due to loss of loved ones, friends, possessions and even their very little drive to start their lives all over again. For them, they would again start from scratch...building their homes little by little ... reconstructing their dreams they built for years...putting together all that was lost in a snap...

I still can't see any logical reason why God would spare a sinner like me but He sure made me realize a couple of things that I never would have thought if this tragedy did not took place. He made me realize the value if life... that there is no rich or poor when calamity strikes. He made me realize that I need to number my days and live my life to the fullest everyday. I need to laugh and enjoy life as if there is no tomorrow and love as if there will be no other chance to love but now... and pray as if I would meet my creator anytime soon. God made me realize that I need not work just to store money on earth where worms and moth (or calamities like typhoon Ondoy) could destroy but rather store up riches in Heaven and use my finances wisely to also be a blessing to others. That I need to look for every opportunity to help my neighbors in whatever help I am capable of giving. Maybe the reason we did not experience Ondoy's rage is because God wants us to be a channel of blessings to those who are needful of love and encouragement... to give hope to others who does'nt know how to start living their lives again and to share God's provision and love to everyone. He gave us another chance to realize what the purpose of our lives are and gave us the ability to help those in need - I think that itself is the reason why so many of us were spared. I think that itself is the reason why we still have our bed, our computers, our radio, our PSPs, our Ipods, our celphones while others did not even know where to get their next meal.

There is a greater purpose why God allowed this thing to happen - we might not be able to fully grasp the reason behind it now but in time...it will made known to us. Let us still sing the song of praise to God because calamities DOES'NT change the fact that GOD IS STILL GOOD ALL THE TIME... ALL the time...

How Can A Song Says It All...

I cried a river upon seeing this in you tube. How can this song and the caption along with it exactly show what I have inside my heart? I don't know how...but this video literally made me weep...

A REVIVAL

Today I've come to realize that I need to do some changes on my blogs. I need to be passionate about it and I need to reorganize my thoughts to have it done and because of that - I WOULD CHANGE THE THEME OF THIS BLOG. Most of the posts I have here for the past couple of months evolves around my personal stories and of course review articles which is also the them of my four other "personal" blogs. No wonder I ran out of stories to write about. So from now on, EMOTERA DOT COM would be about current events and an emotera's views about it. As you all know, I am a very EMOTIONAL person - a lot of emotions are flowing through my veins (chor) so expect more drama - and more comedy stories as well as I am a very jolly person also. "I would try my best to give my own personal opinions about all those news and controversies which most parloristas, barberos, tindera sa palengke and call center agents (LOL) are talking about."

Please feel free to comment and give your own opinion about a particular topic but I would really hope you would also respect my post.

So dear readers... I would like to present to you - the NEW and IMPROVED....

emote na dito mga EMOTERO'T EMOTERA!!!

I WANT TO IMPROVE THIS BLOG!

hello everyone! i am planning to have a major change here in my blog. I want to change everything and improve it. A year has passed and this blog has been a blessing to me. It gave me lots of online friends as well as a lot of cash (lol) due to sponsored reviews. Now, I want to give back my attention to this blog and improve it. Thanks for always visiting this blog always and hope for a better, more improved posts from emotera.com!

ON BEING AN ORGANIZED BLOGGER

Hi people! How's everyone! I've been very busy updating my other blogs..but here I am and I am back with a vengeance! LOL. Seriously, my blogging schedule has been messed up and a lot of thing had happened which drained all my energy, but it's a good thing I was able to finally able to schedule my blog posting. Since it's almost Christmas...I spent all my time and energy constructing several "niche" blogs so I could increase my blogging income. I don't expect to earn a lot this month because I did'nt had the time to grab opps but it's okey. What's important is that my "online income" would continue so I could finally achieve my dream of being an entrepreneur and a stay at home professional. I've been dying in anticipation, promise! Anyways, Christmas is fast approaching...how time flies. After Christmas, it would be my 29th birthday...hay. I just hope on my birthday...I could brag about how I was able to manage to live and live for others on those 29 years of my existence. It's a Sunday today and as usual...I am stuck here in my pc instead of going to a church service. I was'nt able to go to a church service for almost 4 years now. My spiritual life is indeed stagnant...but I do hope and pray that one of these days, I can find the right church near our place where I could worship the Lord. But for now, I would just do some Bible reading to feed my soul. Those are just some updates in what's happening in my life right now...expect more updates here. Thanks!

I've Got A Flu!

It's been a week since I last posted here about whats going on in my life...unfortunately, wala pang kwenta yung post na yun. I just wrote an entry telling you guys that I am bored. Haaaay, my days lately has always been like that... boring, monotonous, stagnant... though I wan't to add some spice to it, it's always unsuccessful. Last week should've been a perfect time for socializing and going out of my box because I was given 4 long days of vacation...actually 3 of those are my restdays and 1 is a part of my vacation leave. Unfortunately, I had a flu on the very first day of my "supposed" vacation and had been on bed rest for four more days. ang saklap diba. I really feel chilling pain in my bones which made it hard for me to even stand on my own... But it's okey. That week of pain and suffering made me realize how much my family loves me. My parents, who are already separated both came to my place to check how I was. My eldest brother as well as my sister who is now based in Singapore also called to make sure I am ok. My kuya - who is the black sheep in the family supposedly - also asked me how I am feeling - and that for me is really a great surprise. My Jojo, who never left me and attended to ALL as in ALL of my needs, was really patient and took good care of me. I don't have any other choice but to make sure I get well very soon as I don't want to give such burden to my family because of my condition. This experience is indeed a blessing in disguise as I was able to feel that though my family is not that close anymore especially now that we all have our own family...we still take time to check on each other especially in times of trials and pain. Thank you Lord for my family and thank you for the gift of healing. Amen.

Rambling Thoughts on my Restday

At last, after 6 loooong days, finally it's my DAY OFF! Grabe, halos matuyuan na ako ng energy sa pagpasok ng 6 days straight. I know, it's not that hard. There are even some who never really had the chance to get a day off even for a day...kaso, I'm not used to that scenario. I prefer have 2 staggered day offs in a week thank two day offs na magkasunod nga but 6 days straight naman. I'm just so happy that besides my 2 restdays, nag leave din ako ng Saturday...so I'll have all the time to check on all of my blogs.

Anyways, I was also had the chance to see PDA (Pinoy Dream Academy) and I saw the episode in which Randy Santiago along with Gino Padilla and Louie Herredia visited the scholars and had a quick voice lesson with them. I was shocked to see Poy, the big girl with big voice. Nakahabol pala siyang makapasok sa loob, actually I was happy. She deserves it! Napanood ko yung unang unang episode ng PDA and I know she's one for the 4 sa waiting list. I even remember nung day na sasabihin na kung sino yung matatanggal and natawag sya...yung katabi niya, which is Jet (the bumbay) doe'snt even console her. Ang yabang nga ng dating ni Jet nun eh, kaso I already spent my precious load for Jet that time kasi akala ko he is not mayabang or hambog. This not a hate post ha, it's just that I am really dissappointed with him... I thought wala syang "ere" and madali syang makasama but hindi pala. He even quit dahil lang namimiss nya yung family nya and iniisip nya kung may kinakain yung mag-anak nya - which is come to think of it, kaya nga dapat mas magstay ka sa loob ng academy is for you to provide food and shelter to your family eh. Hayyy...iba na talaga ang utak ng mga tao ngayon. Why am i so affected by Jet's action? Nah, I'm not. It's just so happen that I does have a friend before na kalahi nya (hahahah!) na feeling ko kaugali nya rin. I thought before that I am already leading him to the light, and yet...nadisappoint nya lang me. Haaaay...It's a good thing I forced myself not to love him, dahil kung nagkataon - kawawa lang ako (me hatred?). AHahahah, emotera talaga. Pinagbuntunan pa si Jet ng PDA eh me hidden agenda naman pala. Ganun talaga.

Anyways, I'm working on another blog and I'm so happy na overwhelming yung response from the readers. Will tell you more about it pag maayos na sya talaga. Also, nawala na naman yung green bars sa toolbar ko, I again has been slapped by master G pero ok lang. Mashakit, pero life must go on...sana lang yung mga opps ko hindi mabawasan please... To my dear readers, thanks for always visiting my site. Good day!

A Lesson for Every Salaried Employee

We had our CEA session today - It's a one hour audit to a particular call - we rate the way the tech assisted his caller and the overall call handling . It's not a regular barging on calls because we have clients from the US listening to every conversation we have on the room. One wrong move and the tech support person who is being audited could lose his job. The call was great (actually I know the guy personally) and I have high praises on him as he converse really well (he has this "twang") and the call was really pleasant. He was able to resolve the issue and was very professional... but although it was a resolved case, the client was not very happy. He said that the tech should've done this...he should've done that. He should've said this and that... which is true. He even gave him a negative rate because of all the flaws he've noticed on the actual call. In a perfect world, those things should've been done - but we are not infallible. I don't know but maybe if you own a business...you want and you expect everything to be perfect. That's reality of life...in business there is no room for less than perfect service.

I remember the email I received from one of my batchmates in College. At the end of the story, especially if you are working for someone else... maiisip mo, "hmmm...oo nga no, parang ako yung aso..."

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog
coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back
again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.
He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of
lamb,please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks
inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money
and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The
butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to
shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is walking down
the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag,
jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for
the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher
following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts
looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog s
tops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows
the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt
to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are
the other passengers in the bus.

The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the
bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags
its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop
completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the
stop. It opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it
approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads
towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it
several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher
watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking
him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this,
runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name
are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of
me!"to which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the Second
time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Moral of the story...

"You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the bosses' expectations."

Last Days...

Just finished watching the movie "The Happening" - i believe it will be shown next week in theatres (napanood ko po ito ng advance dahil sa nabili naming pirated dvd sa munoz, churi!). Anyways, I really love the movie. Kahit na di ko masyadong magetz kung bakit nawawala nalang bigla ang mga madlang people - eh sobrang ganda ng effects and what makes it more scary is the fact na it's possible to happen in the near future. The story kasi is about a certain airborne virus (?) na pag nalanghap mo eh bigla ka na lang magsusuicide. Scary diba. Yung first part pa, nag-uusap ang dalawang girl friendship sa park (with lots of people on the background) - I mean, typical park sa US na me nagroroller skates, me nagjojoging - basta busy park sya. Eh yung dalawang girlalu was chatting - normal conversation. Then one girl noticed na there was like cold breeze of air (more like a thick fog) which causes the leaves of the trees to sway and she noticed na yung mga tao sa park suddenly stopped moving...then one man started walking backwards...the girl can't understand what was happening and when she turned to her friend... the girl friend was frozen then tapos she suddenly took her hair stick (basta hair accessory sya na pinampupusod ng mga babae sa buhok) and she stuck it in her neck...and dun na umikot ang story. Mas nakakatakot yung last part...basta watch it nalang to appreciate it. Ganda!

That thing is really possible, especially now that we are on the end times. The Bible clearly tells na on the end times...famine, wars, natural disasters would shake the earth. Diba all of these are happening nowadays? Who would think na mangyayari ang tsunami in modern times which killed thousands of people! Kinikilabutan parin ako pag naaalala ko yung napanood ko sa youtube na video about baha sa Indonesia. Here it is...

Who would think na a very busy street like this would be swiped by a huge flood due to tsunami?

And also, look around us...greed is everywhere! Like what happened to RCBC Massacre...who would think na dahil lang sa pera...men would kill other people. Just for money na mauubos and di nila magagamit sa kabilang buhay. People are thinking of temporary things instead of those things that really matter the most...our salvation. Hay, minsan kelangan lang talaga nating buksan yung mata natin as mga importanteng bagay. Ang daling sabihin, pero I personally is having a hard time doing it. Imagine, 3 years na akong di nagsisimba sa church namin? I am a Born Again Christian and its been three years since I worshiped God sa church niya...though of course I sometimes read the Bible and listen to the Pastor's sermon sa TV. Pero iba pa rin yung nakikipagfellowship ka sa mga tao especially sa Church. Hay, sana one of this days...I can go to a Christian Church ulit. I hope God would lead me to that Church where I can praise and worship Him again...

And to my readers, I hope God touch you and remind you that the end is near. God wants us to focus on things that really matters. Minsan kasi, maliliit na bagay (traffic, money, weather) sometimes irritates us and often mess up our day... pero we tend to overlook things that He is constantly providing us such as roof above our heads, food in the table, clothes that warms our body...we need to be more appreciative of things. This world taught us not to be contented and always wanting more...pero sana, I hope and pray na we can overcome that. I hope God would
help each and everyone of us to be a person He wants us to be.

Anyways, tomorrow I'll gonna be on PM shift na. Kelangan nang magadjust ng aking body clock - kelangan ko na munang magrest. Goodnight everyone, may the peace of God be with us all.

its good to be back!

well, i just want to share with you what i've been doing (and thinking) lately. there has been a lot of realizations and a lot of goals na gusto kong maachieve by the end of the year. haaay...lately parang feeling ko if i don't do those things now...it will never materialize. Ito na ba ang tinatawag nilang near 30's syndrome? o ito ba ay dala lang ng pagbabasa ko sa newly downloaded ebook sa cellphone ko na "tuesdays with morrie". nasa kalagitnaan palang ako ng book pero naiiyak na ako, it's a story kasi of a dying professor and how his student tells his story. he is not afraid of dealing with death and ang nakakaloka, kwinekwento nya yung nararamdaman nya yung feeling ng mamamatay na sa student nya. grabe noh. i wonder kung ako kaya yung nasa near death situation...can i do the same thing? what if this is the last day of my life, ano kaya ang gagawin ko? those kinds of thougths haunt me for days now...maganda rin pala yung nagbabasa ka ng mga inspirational books noh...nakakapag isip isip ka...

okey here's some of my list:

*lose 30 lbs...kelangan ko talaga as in! i want to get married @ 30 and 2 years nalang yun! i want to fit into my wedding gown noh and ayokong magmukhang lumpiang sariwa sa gown ko utang na loob..hehehe. buti na lang at bukas na ang golds gym sa waltermart dito sa munoz. =)

*i need to save. i want to save at least P7000 monthly para at the end of the year meron na akong P84,000 - enough to start my own business. balak kong magpaalila sa kompanya ko for 5 years more pero after that...goodbye corporate world. I want to be a businesswoman and diko yun maaachieve successfully if i am a corporate slave.

*gusto kong mag-aral ulit. not the typical studies but short courses perhaps. gusto ko yung mga light courses lang like beading, craft and art, baking, cooking, sewing. i want to explore what my talents are...malay natin, magamit ko pa yun sa future business ko.

those are the top 3 must do ko for now. sana magawa ko, mahilig kasi akong magprocastinate kaya medyo nagdadoubt parin ako sa sarili ko. sana makaya ko to, amen.

by the way, i changed the look of my emotera blog. hay naku, it took me 5 hours to pick this template. buti na lang nagkatime ako nung rest day ko and i spent the whole day in front of my computer changing templates for my blog. i hope you like it.

to my avid readers, thanks for always dropping by though its been months now since i last posted a non sponsored post. thank you thank you. don't worry, i promise that kahit na gaano kabusy ako (wether with work or with my family), i would still keep you posted of all the kaemoterahang pangyayari sa aking life. God Bless everyone! Please keep on visiting. =)

Cheers to A Filipino Hero!

I celebrate with you the victory of our Fellow Filipino - Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao! Mabuhay ka Manny! You saved me from having a usual boring "Sunday" and kahit na di ako nakapaglaba dahil sayo - okey lang...panalo ka naman! Kahit man lang dito sa laban na ito, nagkaisa ang pananaw nina Jhun Lozada and President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

Aba, muntik ko nang di mapanood ang labang ito (parang replay nung last fight ni Pacman and Barrera) in which nakuntento nalang kami manood sa Youtube the day after the fight - after malaman ko na kung saang round bumagsak si Barrera at kung sino ang nanalo haaay. Paiyak na nga ako kasi yung cable namin naputol na naman (huhuhu) - and we have no means to see Manny fight kasi channel 7 on our TV is not working unless me cable. Napa bad timing naman talaga! Pero I came up with a bright idea kaya napanood ko si Pacman. Check the rest of the story here...

Well, I'm sorry if I was'nt able to post some relevant entries here in my site - some may say - kapopost ko lang ng "confessions of an emotera" and eto ako at pinuno ko ng reviews yung site ko...sorry naman. I just need money talaga nowadays kaya kahit ano na pinapatos ko - hahaha. Nope, seriously, I am working double time. I intend to open my shop kasi on December kaya medyo nagiipon ako ng pandagdag sa puhunan and these part time job of mine through blogging really helps me a lot - so sa mga nagtatanong kung bakit I am somehow posting some advertisement campaigns eh ito po yugn dahilan. Pero I hope you would still find time to visit this site - medyo naging busy lang lately because I'm working twice as hard sa current job ko as well as sa mga part time jobs. Will update you soon on what "kaemoterahan" na naman ang nangyari sakin but for now...need to sleep muna. Sleep tight everyone and God bless us all!

confession of an emotera

hi there, have been busy with work for the past few days and i was'nt able to post any new article or new entry on this blog... it's just so happen this February is a crucial month for me as I need to pass my metrics or else my promotion will be interrupted (again!). It's a long story, but to give you a clue of what happened - I was informed by my coach previously that I will be promoted as a specialist as I was able to pass my metrics for 6 months but unfortunately - she informed me through text (the same day they will announce the names of the lucky employees) that since I had 2 absences before (due to high fever) - my promotion will be suspended. how sad. though she said i just need to pass my February metric and the suspension will be lifted (hopefully) it is still a very sad experience. I knew all along that I will be given that much awaited promotion but at the last minute...it's gone. It's like receiving an invitation informing you that you've won the best actress award but the presentor mentioned a different name on the awards night itself....hay, but I am still positive that this March - I will be there too. It's not that I am so excited about the recognition itself - it's one of the reasons but of course the biggest motivation for me is the increase in my salary. I want to put up a small business soon and been wanting to put up a small shop selling apparels and accessories so I need enough capital to start the business. That is the main reason why I need to be promoted now. So ayan, medyo nangarir muna ang lola nyo and pinagbutihan muna ang metrics ko...good thing it pays off.


Well...I've noticed that many of you are always visiting my site though it takes me about a week to post an article - honestly i was moved by that. So I think before anything else - I want to make things clear first. I must confess...at first, I made this blog for the purpose of making money. Yeah, for the past 3 months now, I've been doing some review articles for different pay per review services using my other blog i am emotera and i am doing just fine for that blog alone. But I thought to myself - the more blog I have, the more money I can make - so I immediately got this emotera.com domain.... I've been writing personal experiences and personal stuff as I think that's the easiest topic anyone can have in the blogging world... the only motivation for me to write and blog on this website is purely because of the potential amount of money I will earn. I feel that I need not be attached to this blog nor be sociable and make friends as I would soon loose my readers one by one once I already post my paid articles - it's my defense mechanism. I know myself and I know that once I am attached to something or to someone - I become more vulnerable. So to avoid that - I need to mean pure business and in that way, I wont get hurt if no more readers are visiting. I told myself as long as these sites pay me for my review articles - I should not care anymore.

But things have changed since I put up this website. I am now more concerned about writing sensibly and showing the "real me" - no hypocrisy whatsoever. What you see is what you get ... and I am happy that I have found my own niche in the blogging world. I never thought you could bring friendship and camaraderie among your fellow bloggers. The same persons who are in my blogroll constantly visits and leaves messagea from time to time to say hi and say they've been here. I really appreciate that and the feeling is overwhelming. For some, it's just a simple act of leaving a message hoping the administrator of the site will hit them back - but for some, I know it's a way of saying "keep updating" of "keep this blog alive as I am here reading this post". I know I am being emotional for such a simple thing, but what's the use of being emotera if i am not - right?! Anyways, I will be a liar if I will say I dont want to earn money from this - of course I do. But what I want to clear out is that - it's not my priority anymore. I am now more concerned about friendship, sharing my views and making my mark on the blogosphere. Being able to reach out to other's - keeping other blogs alive - and just simply sharing what I know to touch others lives is now on the top of my list. I hope and pray I could write sensible posts that would be beneficial to others as well.... Amen.


trivia: i drafted this post while eating lunch ALONE at Jollibee kaya medyo me emotional touch ang post na ito...

busy week...

i miss blogging....been busy these last few weeks. i think i need a rest...i think i really need it so badly. for once, i want to have a day without any pressures from work, from home, from anything....i want to have a at least a day off doing nothing but blog...i need it...i need it so badly...

routinary...

I made this blog so that I could inspire others to lose weight as well. I want to have a daily note on how I work hard just to lose these extra pounds I have...but till now, exactly 32 days after I wrote my first entry...I still have'nt started. I still eat dinner (having 2 cups of that fattening white rice) , I still ride a tricycle instead of just plainly walk to and from the office, I still ride the elevator instead of taking the ladder and I still sleep minimum of 8 hours a day after a heavy lunch! OMG! How can I ever do it? I'm struggling, really....seems like I am just wasting my time pouring out my thoughts into this without having a real goal and without having the patience and the will to turn this thoughts into reality...I cant go on like this...I need a drastic change...and this time it must be a for real...

I need to fit in...

I've checked my photo album last week and I was able to see my old pictures (2 to 3 years back). Oh no, i cant believe its me...Before i can even wear a mini skirt even though Im already 130-140 lbs . And at that time,I thought of my self as obese! Im really so pissed, if I only knew I should have worn all the clothes while I still can. Now, they are stuck in my drawer...waiting forever to be worn again by me. (sigh)


Anyway, its not too late I know...I already have a plan. This December - right after I receive my 13th month pay, Ill gonna buy little machine called body slender...I saw an ad about that in Channel 13. This is a little machine that promises to help you out lose weight in an average of 5 lbs per month. As of now, Im kinda excited about this,,,Here's how it looks like:

All you need to do is to step on the pedals - one foot at a time.Once you're standing firmly on the Body Slender, just lean and balance yourself from one side to the other. As you're doing this, your entire body - from your legs to your abs - gets a total and complete workout! Sounds good! I can do that maybe after I took my lunch and while Im watching my favorite noontime show! Here in the Philippines it costs at around php 3000 ( about $70), but Ill still gonna research about it in Google to check if I could purchase it else where - maybe on ebay or somewhere else.

For now, at least, I'm progressing in my plan to lose these extra pounds!That's it for now, actually, I wrote this blog to pour out my sentiments especialy with regards to inequality between fat and thin...(I'm not really against thin people though), its just so happen that there's a big gap between the two...with regards to love, opportunities and status quo...fat people are associated with being undiciplined and lacks self control while thin people are often referred to as determined and competitive. Did'nt these people know that our body structure is defined with a combination of a lot of things? Be it genes that you acquired from your parents, diseases, andsocial influences. We should not be blamed for being fat...but for the sake offeeling the feeling that I belong again, I intend to do this. I want to belong again in the society that only "thin" people are considered normal...

I need to loose all of these....

I dont know why i feel this way. I'm a type of person who always sees the good in myself, but after my check up yesterday - I feel im not myself anymore. Yes, Im not pretty…im not sexy as well…and my intelligence is just like any other Filipina you know…but i've always feel that i'm a woman of purpose, i know I have a special task to do in this life…unfortunately, until now (im already 27) i still cant figure it out.

Yesterday, I - with my boyfriend went to the hospital and had my check up since I wont show up for work tonight (btw, i work for a call center in Pasig and my shift is from 9pm to 6am) and the nurse, after checking on my blood pressure and all, asked me to step on the weighing scale…i cant recall when was the last time i stepped on thatkind’a scale. Maybe the reason is that I don't want to know how heavy I am, but the nurse repeat herself and i dont have a choice but to do so…I was so humiliated when she said “Mam, you're already 175 lbs!” … i really cant believe it. I was so shocked that it took me a minute to go down the scale and finally go back to my seat. I can still remember when I was in college, my mother would tease me “balyena” (whale) when she found out that I am already 130 lbs. I don't know what will she call me once she learns that her daughter is now 45 lbs heavier! An elephant maybe or a hippo..(sigh)

Seriously, I really feel dismayed. Im not like this before, I used to be a sweet chubby lad with lots of passion to do good and enjoy life, someone who has lots of dreams and a very passionate person always wanting to succeed..but what happened? She now turned into a 175 lbs lady, a girl who sleeps after a heavy meal..a sluggish girl who’d rather ride tricycle (a 3 wheeler bike) than to walk…a girl who does'nt care if her underwear is already worn and torn (as long as she can still use it - it does'nt bother her). I don't want to be like this…my experience with that hospital is really an eye opener. I want to be the person I am 4 years ago…when dreams seems so near and happy days seems endless…

Please stay with me through this jouney of letting go of my weaknesses and taking back what was mine…. Nothing should make me feel as miserable as I am now… Life is beautiful, I can do this….aja!