Pi Day Jokes

When I tried searching for something in Google yesterday and tried checking on Pacquiao Clottey fight, I saw that the word Google itself does is outlined by lines and curves and was surrounded by mathematical equations. At first, I didn't get it but later on, I've realized - hey it's Pi Day! Pi Day or Pi Approximation Day is being held to celebrate the discovery of mathematical constant π (pi) . This is the first time I've heard about

Punchlines ng Lola

(waaaah! i received this as an email from one of my long lost high school classmate, i can't get over it! hahahaha!)


"Bakit ba pati ako, binibigyan nyo ng malisya? Ano ba ang kasalanan
ko?!" Talong

"Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!" Putok

"Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?" Lego

"Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok para ako'y
iyong matikman at ika'y masarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! Humanda ka!"
Popcorn

"Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure!" Singit

"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sa iyo. Ayoko lang
naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako itanggi!" Utot

"Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis!" Pigsa

"Kapag ang katawan mo'y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap mo.
Maya't maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod. Hindi ka na naawa!" Aircon

"Pagod na akong humawak ng balls mo! Pagod narin ako sa
pagbihis-hubad mo sa akin. Malapit na naman ulit! Ayoko na!!!"
Christmas Tree

"I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt, But you know, I
didn't ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da
pelepeno pipo!" Manny Pacquiao.

"You never even thank me for making you happy, then you throw me away
just like that. I hate you for using me, for making my life full of
shit!" Tissue

"Hindi llahat ng kulot, salot!" Goldilocks

"Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim!" Jollibee

"Alam kong sa

Manong Wants to Configure his Wireless Connection

Yesterday I had a caller and I helped him configure his wireless connection. I can tell he is a Filipino because he is using words such as "wait a minute ah" and "come again?" - I can also tell that he is on his late 40's or 50's and very novice when it comes to computer . I can also hear a Tagalog song playing on the background. He is really having a hard time speaking in English because I can also hear from the background that he is asking one of his companions what is the English of this and that so he could explain what he is seeing on his screen. The conversation lasted for almost an hour because he I need to "tagalized" all my instructions such as "pull up Internet Explorer"...I need to say open Internet Explorer or if I need to ask him to right click I need to say "what you do is you are using the regular left click, to do a right click - do the opposite" (kahit ako nalilito na rin, hahahah!) Well

Babasahin Mula sa Isang Pahayagan

Hmmm.... nakakawindang ito promise! Nyahahahaha!

GANITO KA RIN BA MAG-ENGLISH?

(To whoever gets to understand this letter, CONGRATULATIONS!)

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Please, read with feelings...

October 1996
To Marie,

"I am not surprise to wander why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think about you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to toy but sooner or later I'm realize that really can'not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to
their house what he go home or this or that.

And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise

FOR 25 YEARS OLD AND ABOVE ONLY

Grabe!

Hahaha, tawa ako ng tawa sa binabasa ng asawa ko, promise! Bakit ngayon ko lang sya narinig? Kung hindi pa dinala ni perly (kaofismate kong cute na kung hindi ko alam ang KATOTOHANAN eh siguro naging crush ko sya) yung book na ito eh hindi namin maeexperience ni Jojo (ang aking hubby-hubbyhan...hehehe) ang hagalpakan at bonding na tawa ng tawa. Thanks Bob Ong na author ng greatest book ever written by a jologs writer, "BAKIT BALIKTAD MAGBASA NG LIBRO ANG MGA PILIPINO?" dapat war kami ng hubby ko pero since binasa nya out loud ang article na ito at natawa ako...peace na ulit kami. yahoo!

anyways, i'll share with you dear friends ang article na aking tinutukoy. Ang mga batang 25 years old pababa...malamang hindi makakarelate pero malay natin... bata ka palang pala jologs ka na kaya narerecall mo ang mga pangyayaring ito, sige sali ka na rin. here it goes...

"WAYS TO KNOW WHETHER YOU'RE A MARTIAL BABY OR NOT"

*you first saw Herbert Bautista in Kaluskos Musmos and you wondered why Drandreb could not pronounce the letter "R"

*Ang major car accessory ay ang musical backup horn

*Digman ang pinakasikat na halo halo

*Nakakabili ka ng Greenwich Pizza na kalahati lang, at aliw na aliw ka sa vendo machines na nagdidispense ng softdrinks sa cup

*Baduy na baduy ka sa opening ng TODAS on Channel 13

Under Operation

I'm again under operation, but this was a painless one huh. I call it operation kasi takot talaga akong magpapedicure sa ibang tao before but since yung unang unang pedicurist na nagpedicure sa aking virgin nails sa paa, eh me hinahanap yatang treasure sa kuko ko sa lalim ng pagkakahalukay kaya since then, kelangang ko nang magpapedicure to have my nail done every 2 weeks and para rin maalis ang aking ingrown na pasakit talaga. Ang bilis tumubo, huhuhu. I hope all of my incoming operations would be as painless as this was...

(pasensya na sa paa kong parang pangmagsasaka lang...lol)

survey, survey

First Times

1. 1st time you tried smoking: *nung bata pa ako pinagsisindi ni papa ng sigarilyo pag bumibili ako sa tindahan so mga 3 ata ako nun! Nyahahaha!

2. 1st alcoholic drink you had: * rhea alcohol (vweysit!)

3. 1st time you came home Late? * siguro nung elementary ako, tagal na nun….

4. 1st award you received: * 3rd honor

5. 1st hero: * astroboy (hahaha)

6. 1st time you were sent to the principal disciplinary actions: * nakup hindi naman ako umabot jan…pero me teacher ako sinabihan ako sa harap ng klase ng “sasabunutan kita jan sabili eh!(bisaya sya)” hahahaha!

7. 1st goal you accomplished *nakatapos ako ng elementary, yahoo!

8. 1st crush: * si Michael Iglesias nung elementary pa – valedictorian namin

9. 1st person you gave flowers: * ke chuckie dreyfuss nung pumunta kami ng that’s entertainment noon, nagsabit ako ng garland (jologs!potek!hahaha)

10. 1st friend: * si maripas at marison, kambal na kapitbahay naming

11.1s t movie you watched: * ewan ko, nakalimutan ko na eh. Malamang ET.

12. First album record you bought: * Yung soundtrack ng Wanted Perfect Mother ni Regine at Boyet de Leon…yaaahhh!

13. 1st song you sang in front of many people: * Lupang Hinirang

Seven Weird Things About Me

Seven Strange Things About Me

1) I have a strange sleeping habbit. Working in a call center - I've learned to manage my sleeping time! Especially when my shift is from 10pm to 7am...I usually have my sleep in installment. I'll gonna sleep at around 9 am and wake up at 11 am for lunch...then sleep again at around 3pm and wake up at 5pm...would usually check and update my blog for at least an hour and go back to sleep at 6:00 pm and wake up at 8:30 - ready to go to work. seems my waking hours are spend just to eat and blog! strange huh!

2) I am not into branded things. I don't normally splurge on things that are too expensive just because they are branded (especially if I'll be the one to pay for it). I am also a certified "tiangge queen" - just look at my other blog -> www.aninganing.com and you'll know what I mean.- kuripot ba? nah - just call it practical.

3) I am afraid of being pregnant. I don't know but just thinking of pushing the baby out of my body is horrifying. I hope I would overcome this fear as I know there will come a time that I need to decide as to wether or not I want to have a baby.

4) I used to have a "big" crush on Barry Manilow when I was still in my elementary days. whenever I remember that phase in my life.... I always laugh! How could it possibly be? A ten year old girl idolizing a 50 year old pop icon?! What's strange is that when my

i've been tagged!

Received this tag from Bluedreamer and yan bro - dahil sayo natuto ako ng mga tag tag na ganito. this is how it works pala, i've been receiving tags before from my previous blog and dahil sa snobbish ako noon at wala akong friends...diko natutunan. salamat, salamat, salamat! Copy this entire list of questions and change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then tag and pass it along to other blogging friends. Let’s see how well we can get to know one another!

1. What is your occupation? i am a call center professional

2.what is the color of you're socks right now? no socks , i'm at home

3. What are you listening to right now? hmmm... i'm watching "the illusionist"

4. What was the last thing that you ate? had my late dinner at 12nn - rice and nilagang baka (heavy noh!)

5. Can you drive a stick shift? nah

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? violet

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my brother

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yup, because of him natuto akong sumagot ng tag hehehe

9. Favorite drink? gin cola (whatda!) hahahah

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? none

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? a lot of times, i want to have my hair done tomorrow din and have my hair dye

12.pets? none

13.Favorite food? almost everything! sinigang na babe

14. Last movie you watched? the illusionist

15. Favorite Day of the year? December - me bonus!

16. What do you do to vent anger? the power of prayer and self control

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? barbie dolls and plato platuhan hehe

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring? spring na lang...nyahahaa

19. Hugs or kisses? hug then kiss =)

20. What kind of pie? egg pie, chocolate pie

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? dipindi hehe

22. Who is most likely to respond? jowa

23. Who is least likely to respond? cant think of anyone =(

24. Living arrangements? huh?

25. When was the last time you cried? just last night, i saw a portion in wowowee. It's because a woman was sponsored by wowowee to go back to her province and see her children she was'nt able to see for 10 long years and the sight of reconciliation between a mother and her children is overwhelming.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? hankies and socks

27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? ruthie and malen and syana

28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are