I Need to Conquer My Fears

Well, I was profiled to apply for Quality Specialist. After five long years, I think it's high time for me to explore new things and see what else I could accomplish in my professional career. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a happy agent. I can do a lot of things without pressure, I can go home immediately after my shift, I can be absent for work if I want to. But through the years, I feel as if everything is routinary and that there are not much challenges for me anymore. I feel as if I need to try to unleash my potentials and see what else I can do besides taking in calls.

My current supervisor asked me if I would pursue with the application and I said yes. In the back of my mind, there are many doubts. I admit, I fear rejection. I fear not being able to get the job. I fear what other people might say. I know I can do the job well but one mistake might ruin it all. Still I am decided to pursue with it, until the last minute. The same day I was about to pass my application, my boss was absent. I don't know what I'll gonna put on my application letter as he never coached me about the position before. I felt inferior and I felt as if I won't be able to make it. I again took one step behind and let this opportunity pass me by...for the nth time...

I know I should not be like this. I know I won't get to where I want to be unless I try. I want to be brave enough to accept challenges and even possible failures. I should change my way of thinking and know that failures are necessary for me to be a better agent, better employee, better person. There has been so many regrets in my life solely because of one thing...fear of failure.

Have read Bro. Bo's book "Don't worry, be happy" and what inspires me is what he wrote in the final chapter about his first experience in rock climbing. Before he tried it, he was very afraid of the steep mountain. He felt as if he can never reach the top of that gigantious mountain...there's really no way. But when he faced his fear and started going up...he felt very brave. It's all because of the thick rope that is tied around his waist. He knows that whatever happens, even if he slips...even if he falls...this thick rope will prevent him from breaking his arms, legs. He knows that the rope will pull him up and will lead him to safe landing whatever happens. And how happy was he when he reached the top. He won't be able to reach it if he didn't even tried. Same with our mountains of fear. You can't conquer it unless you tried. God is the rope...we need to climb above our fears knowing whatever happens, even if we fail and slip...He will never let us fall because he is the one who'll lead us to safety landing. We just need to try and try.

I hope through the next opportunity, I won't be afraid anymore. I need to deal with failure the right way. As the saying goes, it really isn't about how many times you fail but how many times you get up after each failure. I guess I need to begin counting now...