FIRST NIGHT WITHOUT MY BROTHER

Just last Thursday, my brother Mamu left the company for good. He already passed his resignation and bid his final farewell to the company he served for almost one and a half year. The same company that opened door for our friendship and which been a silent witness on how our friendship bloomed into something extraordinary. The first time I heard about the night he passed his resignation from our common friend and officemate....I was not really shocked. We've been talking about his plan of resigning for almost six months now so I am aware and I've already anticipated that this day would soon come. The first time I heard about his plan of resigning was last year, before Christmas of 2009. We were on our shift and we're on avail. For the fist time, he told me that he would soon resign, he talked about planning of getting a different job and he said it would probably happen after Christmas. I don't know why I was not able to control my
emotion and I just felt tears flowing from my eyes. How can I let go of a beautiful friendship? How can I manage to just let a beautiful friendship go just like that. I can't imagine working on a shift without my friend who's been my constant companion everyday for almost 4 months. I beg him to stay and asked him if he could prolong his stay for another three months. Maybe he realized that he is still enjoying his work and that the environment is still okey plus he've got our barkada...the funniest and wackiest barkada there is so he chose to stay. The second time he brought up the topic of resignation was on my 29th birthday last February. He confessed and told me that he already decided to just leave and find his luck elsewhere. Of course, since I am not yet ready for it, I again asked him to stay. I told him the pros and cons of this action. I told him we have a great barkada and everything is running smoothly still. The company still provides us with great compensations and monetary benefits plus he got us. I guess I was able to convince him so he again decided to stay. He stayed for five more months with us and finally on the fifth month, he again told me his plan of leaving. This time, I can feel that this is what would really make him happy as things are not going really well for him anymore in the office. He've had enough disappointments already and I felt as if he is not enjoying our company anymore because of seeing "someone or something" that reminds him of a very bad feeling....I know he is not happy in what he is doing anymore. I began accepting the fact that he is leaving me soon - knowing this is what my friend wants and what would make him happy. In his last two weeks with us, I've noticed a lot of changes in his personality - a used to be jolly person is now most of the time quiet. He would normally ask us if there is any gimmick after shift, but in his last weeks - he would leave the office immediately. All I hear from him are complaints and disappointments he have for the company. I knew right there and then, I need to let him go...I know he could find his happiness somewhere else. A place where his talent would be appreciated and where he could show how much potential he have. I know he could make it, he is such an intelligent young man. I know wherever he goes and whatever he does, he would excel and would be successful. I promised myself after my bestfriend Divine left me that I won't let anyone hurt me that much anymore. I don't want to love a friend so much as it would be harder for me to let them go. That's exactly what I am feeling right now, it hurts to see a dear friend leave again but I know this time it's different...leaving this time means happiness, success and hope for a brighter future. I know kabsat would always be around...sabi nya nga, pakalat kalat lang sya sa Maynila at siguradong magkikita kami dahil lagi nya akong dadalawin sa bahay at magbibinggo kami ng mga kapitbahay. Hahaha.

I was absent the night he passed his resignation. I guess it's a blessing in disguise as I know that it would be a very sad night for me. I don't know what my reaction would be seeing him leave through the door of the office for the last time knowing my life @ CVG would never be the same without him. Though he assured me that nothing would be changed in our friendship and that he would always be around for me - I still feels that things would not be the same. There will be no more Mamu who would text me before the shift starts to ask me where I am and would meet up with me downstairs, no more Mamu that would look for a way to make sure we'll find a seat next to each other, no more okrayan moment, no more rampa moment every breaktime, no more coffee session. No more Mamu that would go to my workstation, no matter how far it is from his, every break time just to have a small chit chat and just to ask me how's my day. No more jolly moment @ Quickcomm who throws crazy and naughty jokes and who gives troubleshooting steps for those out of scope issues that only he could support. No more after shift lafhang moment and no more emotional chitchat with the most intellectual, most gorgeous, most lovable, most giving friend I've ever had. I don't know why we bonded so much though I am six years older than him. I promised to be the big sister she never had and I promised to treat him as my little gay brother. I would definitely miss him - that's for sure. I hope I could endure the next two years I've left with CVG without him. I am still happy that I still have friends left to laugh with, to party with, to chat with but nothing compares with the happiness I have when we were still complete with Mamu. I know he would just be around for his "ate" - just the way he promised. I pray God would lead him to the right path and I hope he would be happier in his next job. I pray he would be able to get the desires of his heart very soon. All the best for my bestfriend, my brother, my kabsat, my kafatid and you know I love you so much from the bottom of my heart. Farewell and Godspeed my dear friend mamu....

HERE'S A REMINDER OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP WE HAD @ CVG...

I would miss you Kabsat! Goodluck!

"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other"

-Gen. 31:49