Remembering My Bestfriend

Today is my bestfriend's 3rd year death anniversary and I must say I really miss her. If she is still alive, I bet she already have a child of her own and of course I would be one of the ninangs. Hay, I don't know how I survived the last 3 years of my life without her. Though we are really not together all the time when she is still alive, I never fail to call her...email her...text her especially when there are special occasions or when there are problems that I want to share only to few people I trully trust. Now that she is gone, our barkada is not that active anymore. My gay friend, Mike, does'nt communicate as much as before when we still have our Divine around. She is like a thread that ties us all and now that she is gone...things have never been the same again. Her family already left their old house and as what I've heard...they are now living in Antipolo City. I hope I could visit them one of these days. To all who know's lives was touched by dear Divine, let's not forget to offer a prayer for our friend who now is in God's hands. AMEN.

+++ LET ME SHARE TO YOU A POST ENTRY I'VE MADE ON MY OTHER BLOG REGARDING THE DEATH OF MY BESTFRIEND...+++

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I lost my bestfriend last oct 20...that was my off. I was busy fixing our house because I was supposed to go in our house in Montalban when one of my good friend, odette, texted me asking me not to go home today because of my bestfriend Divine. My heart thumped so fast because of the text so I called Odette up. She told me my bestfriend is gone...at first, i cannot believe my ears so I asked her once again if it's true and she said it is. The first words that came out of my mouth was " Odette, ang laki ng kasalanan natin kay Divine..", having in mind that she is asking me to visit her when she was still in the hospital. Actually I visited her thrice, but on her last request I wasnt able to do that. I never texted her after that because I just want to surprise her when I already had the chance to visit her maybe not in the hospital anymore but in their home where I could see that she's ok already. I hate to see her suffering from the sickness that she had.But now, I will never be able to surprise her...I would never be able to see her again. Not in another 50,60 years from now...I will definitely miss her. After I heard that, I immediately called up Jojo, I want to be with him. I want him to accompany me thru my despair and im happy that jojo is very supportive, in less than 30 mins he's already knocking at the door. Im not so sure if I would collapse after hearing that, being with jojo makes me feel a lot better.Then we proceed to the Paz Funeral Homes, at the entrance, I already saw her name in the list of dead people that would have their wake in that place. I cant believe it! Whenever I see her name, I can sense a feeling of being happy, being at home...but now its a terrifying scene...Louie fetched us at the gate of the funeral home, according to him Divine was still being embalmed as of the moment. So we went straight to the embalming section, and there I saw her cousin Michelle. We hug and cried together - it such a great grief. And there lying in the bed, I saw my bestfriend - very stiff. I can't believe it up to this day...the person who gave such importance to our friendship..the one who gave me special mention on her salutatory speech, the person who made me her 18th candle, the person who made me feel part of her family, the person who introduced me as her bestfriend in her friends and family members...is gone, lying on that cold bed..lifeless.... i can still remember our last meeting, it was June 24. I received a text message from her while in the office asking me (actually, begging me...) if I could go to Odette's place for San Juan Fiesta. Actually, it was indeed on my plan that I together with Jojo would go to Odette's place later that night, and her asking me to go and accompany her makes me certain about my decision to go. I told her Ill gonna fetch her at 8 pm but it was so traffic so she finally gave up and told me to just go directly to Odette's place, anyway, her college friend Jen is already with her so they will go ahead. When I finally came to the vicinity, I texted her... I asked her if they could fetch me im already on the next street...but no one replied, so I went straight and found my barkada and jojo's kada as well. I was looking for her and I saw her hiding in one of my friends shoulder joking so she can surprise me that she is wearing a long wig. She was so pretty in that wig, its as if she never suffered from her recent chemotheraphy session. We laughed all night, she even took a picture of us in her phone and she also took some picture of herself in her phone, as if she was mesmerized by her gorgeous look. My gay bestfriend Pipa also took a picture of us together and I saw that picture in her wake and I really cried...I never thought that would be the last portrait of us together. Divine had to leave early because her mom, tita linda would definitely get angry if she went home later than the designated time. so we accompanied her together with her college buddies outside the house and I hugged her tight, so tight that she the wig almost drop off her head. I never thought that it would be my last embrace to a very dear friend...and that was it. I will never ever see that lovely smile ever again as long as I live... I could still remember the time we (me,jojo, pipa, louie - her ex) , and vhine went to Laguna for an overnight swimming - we were very happy sobra...we are even looking forward another time like this and we planned of being together again in our company outing in montemar. But unfortunately there has been some schedule problems so it was never facilitated. After that she worked as a stewardess at negros navigation...she even gave us foods from Davao as our pasalubong (thru her ex louie, my former officemate also). She was such a thoughtful girl...a very loving and a caring one. At the last day of the wake...we were given the chance to have a speech and a testimonial on how Vhine made an impact in our lives...when it was already my turn, as the bestfriend, I was the second on the line after her mom... I talked about our competition when we were still in highschool, I discussed about how my greatest competitor became my bestfriend...I have a thousand of things to say at that time but I dont know why I only said a few. Maybe because I was nervous, shocked, and most of all...lonely. Because of her lost, I suddenly realized the importance of time...the importance of family...the importance of close relationship with God. Ive learned that we can never tell when is the moment that God would fetch us to be with Him. Learn to seize the day, always look at the bright side of life...life is too short to worry about small things... to all my friends- pipa, odette, ruth, malen, syana, mean, shai, jag, pam, pinky, tope, dhang,cel,maricris,mama wendy,mhay, aileen, jen, hannah,kat, atey and many more... i love you. I will try my best to be a good friend to all of you... and to my bestfried Divine, who is now my angel....I love you. I hope I have uttered those words personally to you but i know in the email we sent to each other, i know you know that whenever I say I love you at the end of the message ..its from the heart. as what the song says..."farewell to you my friend..well see each other again...",i know we'll see each other again...maybe not in this lifetime...but in eternity....